Raphael Slattery - an old friend
David William Bloom 13th April 1960, he was only 56. David is my friend – our friend.
I will tell you our story, but we all have our stories to treasure; keep telling those stories and please don’t ever forget David.
David is the third of four sons to Margot and John Bloom.
Andrew, Peter and Michael your brother is gone – his suffering is over.
David’s lasting wish from you, his brothers, is that you honour his final wishes, giving respect and care to Ross as his life long partner. He lost his ability to verbally communicate before most of us were ready; so many things were left unsaid.
May you and your children, Jason, Nicole, Ashley, Nicholas and Willow Margot find peace in knowing he loved you
David was from a Liberal/Jewish family and I from a Labor/Catholic family
With only weeks between our births and living one house apart we grew together; he was a dreadful thumb sucker, sleepovers, bar mitzvah, and his bike accident. We played together, holidays at Frankston, backyard cricket, afternoon tea, swimming and eskimo pies.
We shared many family occasions, our faiths always intertwined.
Don’t worry we were wicked, our first kisses, smoking under the roundabout shops, nicking biscuits from the home delivery area, being very cool.
I actually have a lovely letter from David in which he declares that he was my first boyfriend
The tragic death of his beloved mum, Margot shattered this family.
Michael, darling, you were so young, you were adored by your Mum and Dad, big brothers and we all loved to care for you.
David was always goofy in photos, a funny little pose.
He was fascinated with his first sewing machine, learning from his darling Mum, and he enjoyed to knit we both used to love making things, I think our teddy’s loved their new clothes.
David William Bloom 13th April 1960, he was only 56. David is my friend – our friend.
I will tell you our story, but we all have our stories to treasure; keep telling those stories and please don’t ever forget David.
David is the third of four sons to Margot and John Bloom.
Andrew, Peter and Michael your brother is gone – his suffering is over.
David’s lasting wish from you, his brothers, is that you honour his final wishes, giving respect and care to Ross as his life long partner. He lost his ability to verbally communicate before most of us were ready; so many things were left unsaid.
May you and your children, Jason, Nicole, Ashley, Nicholas and Willow Margot find peace in knowing he loved you
David was from a Liberal/Jewish family and I from a Labor/Catholic family
With only weeks between our births and living one house apart we grew together; he was a dreadful thumb sucker, sleepovers, bar mitzvah, and his bike accident. We played together, holidays at Frankston, backyard cricket, afternoon tea, swimming and eskimo pies.
We shared many family occasions, our faiths always intertwined.
Don’t worry we were wicked, our first kisses, smoking under the roundabout shops, nicking biscuits from the home delivery area, being very cool.
I actually have a lovely letter from David in which he declares that he was my first boyfriend
The tragic death of his beloved mum, Margot shattered this family.
Michael, darling, you were so young, you were adored by your Mum and Dad, big brothers and we all loved to care for you.
David was always goofy in photos, a funny little pose.
He was fascinated with his first sewing machine, learning from his darling Mum, and he enjoyed to knit we both used to love making things, I think our teddy’s loved their new clothes.
David loved to cook, as a young boy David would watch Dianne Herd, he would
make the most beautiful food, so he trained to be a pastry chef, again long hard
hours.
Can you smell the truffles in the chocolate room, the little fan detail he mastered on the packaging?
I am sure many of us here have enjoyed David’s beautiful food, with such flair and love was a meal prepared. Then he would say eat, eat... sitting with David just last week and hearing Ross talk of his newly learnt culinary skills David said “I am so proud of him”.
Our family home was filled with music and David loved to come and listen to his favourite Beethoven piece, which my sister Jane would play for him on the piano. He learnt the piano; he was such a gifted soul. Music was such a big part of David’s life, he went to Sydney to study piano tuning when he came home to Melbourne, his business flourished as he would say with a lot of hard bloody work.
David was amazing, learning French; he would cover the subtitles on SBS TV and listen and learn; finally speaking fluently. David’s friends from pastry cooking days have been so delightful and when they are together it is marvellous to hear him with such gusto involve himself in a full on french conversation.
I had said to him recently that when you die hop on the first cloud and go straight to Paris.
When David was diagnosed with MND it was such a shock. We went to an information evening and I got quite upset. Everyone was saying he can do this, he can do that, all I wanted to know was what does David (and Ross) want to do.
I would like to thank the MND Association for all their support; we must find a cure for this cruellest of diseases.
David was so nervous to tell me about Ross, I was the last be told, but the first to know really many years ago, imagine going to dinner at David’s home to meet Ross. Among the guests were Kathryn, Ross’s ex wife, his son Nicholas and daughter Anna. I was so happy for David I could finally see my darling friend really at peace, in love and being loved.
As time went on David and Ross were so loving and caring when I sought their counsel about Jackie and I.
Can you smell the truffles in the chocolate room, the little fan detail he mastered on the packaging?
I am sure many of us here have enjoyed David’s beautiful food, with such flair and love was a meal prepared. Then he would say eat, eat... sitting with David just last week and hearing Ross talk of his newly learnt culinary skills David said “I am so proud of him”.
Our family home was filled with music and David loved to come and listen to his favourite Beethoven piece, which my sister Jane would play for him on the piano. He learnt the piano; he was such a gifted soul. Music was such a big part of David’s life, he went to Sydney to study piano tuning when he came home to Melbourne, his business flourished as he would say with a lot of hard bloody work.
David was amazing, learning French; he would cover the subtitles on SBS TV and listen and learn; finally speaking fluently. David’s friends from pastry cooking days have been so delightful and when they are together it is marvellous to hear him with such gusto involve himself in a full on french conversation.
I had said to him recently that when you die hop on the first cloud and go straight to Paris.
When David was diagnosed with MND it was such a shock. We went to an information evening and I got quite upset. Everyone was saying he can do this, he can do that, all I wanted to know was what does David (and Ross) want to do.
I would like to thank the MND Association for all their support; we must find a cure for this cruellest of diseases.
David was so nervous to tell me about Ross, I was the last be told, but the first to know really many years ago, imagine going to dinner at David’s home to meet Ross. Among the guests were Kathryn, Ross’s ex wife, his son Nicholas and daughter Anna. I was so happy for David I could finally see my darling friend really at peace, in love and being loved.
As time went on David and Ross were so loving and caring when I sought their counsel about Jackie and I.
Ross your children, Anna and Nicholas have given David such pleasure and the
dream of a complete family. Eddie, Miles, Audrey, Papy loved you and as you grow
you will hear stories and understand more about him from Freddie.
Ross thankyou so much for loving David I have never seen him happier than with you. Your ceremony to seal your commitment to each other was just four years ago, and today is Valentines Day what love and devotion you have shared together.
David is my rock, always there, sharing our love. I have shared all of our 56 years with him.
I will miss him.
Raphael Slattery
David's message delivered by Julie Bloom
David has written a few words which he would like to share with you all today. He has written in the first person, so I shall speak on his behalf.
I have received help, support and love from many people since the diagnosis of MND in October 2012. In terms of family and friends I am not going to mention any names for fear of omission, but I am deeply grateful for all the support I have received. Ross has not seen this eulogy, but I am certain that he would echo these sentiments.
I will however, make an exception and thank certain professionals who have helped me during this time and over the years.
Firstly I would like to thank my GP Alice Jane who has been wonderfully supportive. Alice knows all about this disease; she lost her mother to it. Thank you dear Alice for all your patience and warmth...our appointments became increasingly longer but not once did you "rush me through". I would also like to thank Shauna McGlinchey who has helped care for me over the past couple of years. This has provided Ross with a certain amount of respite.
Next, I must thank all the staff at Calvary Care in Caulfield. They have been wonderful. The circumstances which brought me to meet them were hideous, but if one does require care and compassion, you'll be hard pressed to find a better group of people. The warmth and support of the staff at Calvary Care did help to make my visits bearable...not good!!! But bearable, which is certainly better than unbearable.
There are other organisations who have come into play in 2014—Eastern Palliative Care, Care Connect and others of which I can't recall the names. These services have been invaluable and the people we have met have been lovely.
Thank you everyone for your support of both myself and Ross.
Ross thankyou so much for loving David I have never seen him happier than with you. Your ceremony to seal your commitment to each other was just four years ago, and today is Valentines Day what love and devotion you have shared together.
David is my rock, always there, sharing our love. I have shared all of our 56 years with him.
I will miss him.
Raphael Slattery
Angélique
Le jour redouté est arrivé !
Il fut pour toi une délivrance et pour moi une cruelle injustice…
Mais je ne veux me souvenir aujourd’hui que des moments heureux passés ensemble.
Notre rencontre, en octobre 2004, m’est apparue comme plutôt ordinaire mais je sais maintenant qu’elle est de celles qui laissent des traces indélébiles.
Toi le francophone averti ne pouvait ignorer la petite française fraichement arrivée à l’autre bout du monde. Ta voix nasale et ton articulation marquée n’ont fait pensé que tu étais autrichien ou allemand mais en aucun cas australien ! Cela t’a beaucoup faire rire…
Il y a eu de nombreux événements marquants dans notre histoire.
Et puis cette horrible maladie t’a pris la parole mais n’a aucunement altéré ton franc parlé, ton humour cinglant et ton sens de la répartie. Je me rappelle encore précisément les mots vulgaires que tu sais parfaitement épeler en français… à m’en faire rougir !
Je veux aussi rendre hommage à Ross, à son amour inconditionnel et à son dévouement exemplaire qui nous ont permis d’autres instants inoubliables.
Adieu mon ami, à jamais je me souviendrai.
Repose en paix.
The translation (coming from Google)
The dreaded day has come!
But I want to remember today only happy moments spent together.
Our meeting, in October 2004, appeared to me rather ordinary but I now know that it is one of those that leave indelible traces.
You, the Francophone warned, can not ignore the little French girl who has just arrived at the other end of the world. Your nasal voice and your marked articulation made me think that you were Austrian or German but in no case Australian! That made you laugh a lot ...
There have been many significant events in our history.
And then this horrible illness has taken your voice but has not altered your frankness, your scathing humour and your sense of distribution. I still remember precisely the vulgar words that you know perfectly spell in French ... to make me blush!
I also want to pay tribute to Ross, for his unconditional love and exemplary dedication, which have enabled us to unforgettable moments.
Farewell my friend, for ever I will remember.
Rest in peace.
David's message delivered by Julie Bloom
David has written a few words which he would like to share with you all today. He has written in the first person, so I shall speak on his behalf.
I have received help, support and love from many people since the diagnosis of MND in October 2012. In terms of family and friends I am not going to mention any names for fear of omission, but I am deeply grateful for all the support I have received. Ross has not seen this eulogy, but I am certain that he would echo these sentiments.
I will however, make an exception and thank certain professionals who have helped me during this time and over the years.
Firstly I would like to thank my GP Alice Jane who has been wonderfully supportive. Alice knows all about this disease; she lost her mother to it. Thank you dear Alice for all your patience and warmth...our appointments became increasingly longer but not once did you "rush me through". I would also like to thank Shauna McGlinchey who has helped care for me over the past couple of years. This has provided Ross with a certain amount of respite.
Next, I must thank all the staff at Calvary Care in Caulfield. They have been wonderful. The circumstances which brought me to meet them were hideous, but if one does require care and compassion, you'll be hard pressed to find a better group of people. The warmth and support of the staff at Calvary Care did help to make my visits bearable...not good!!! But bearable, which is certainly better than unbearable.
There are other organisations who have come into play in 2014—Eastern Palliative Care, Care Connect and others of which I can't recall the names. These services have been invaluable and the people we have met have been lovely.
Thank you to all those providers; your help has been much appreciated.
Of course no eulogy would be complete without reference to my most intimate relationship.
I would like to say a few words about my loving partner Ross.
I have been most fortunate to have such a wonderful partner over the years. He is patient, diligent, great at cleaning, extraordinarily fantastic at geography and history. He has done a great job constructing all the garden beds over the years and even though he wasn't keen on vegetable growing, hopefully he now sees it differently. He is also fantastic at digging and weeding. In addition to this he has constructed sheds over the years with left over materials resulting in a rustic look which I have loved--I don't subscribe to perfect "designer" gardens, yuk!
Of course no eulogy would be complete without reference to my most intimate relationship.
I would like to say a few words about my loving partner Ross.
I have been most fortunate to have such a wonderful partner over the years. He is patient, diligent, great at cleaning, extraordinarily fantastic at geography and history. He has done a great job constructing all the garden beds over the years and even though he wasn't keen on vegetable growing, hopefully he now sees it differently. He is also fantastic at digging and weeding. In addition to this he has constructed sheds over the years with left over materials resulting in a rustic look which I have loved--I don't subscribe to perfect "designer" gardens, yuk!
Ross has been so supportive and loving...I really couldn't have asked for more from a partner. For the last few years,
as a result of my declining health, he has had to wash me, dress me, cook, chop up food (when I could eat), feed me through the PEG and basically help me in ways that are too numerous to mention. Since being diagnosed with MND in October 2012, I have thought numerous times about finishing my life. The only reason why I didn't look into this further was that I would miss the warmth and cuddles with my beautiful Ross; something which I wanted to treasure for as long as possible.
Ross has loved me and supported me without question since we have been together. He is a straightforward person, devoid of subterfuge and one of the kindest and most honest people I know. His dependability has meant that I could have confidence in my relationship with him--it has brought with it a sense of security which not everyone is so fortunate to enjoy.
Many of my friends have come to know Ross over the years, and those relationships have deepened since the diagnosis of my illness. I do have a request which I hope that those friends and family who feel so-inclined, will consider:
Ross has loved me and supported me without question since we have been together. He is a straightforward person, devoid of subterfuge and one of the kindest and most honest people I know. His dependability has meant that I could have confidence in my relationship with him--it has brought with it a sense of security which not everyone is so fortunate to enjoy.
Many of my friends have come to know Ross over the years, and those relationships have deepened since the diagnosis of my illness. I do have a request which I hope that those friends and family who feel so-inclined, will consider:
My wish is that those people who have formed a meaningful relationship with Ross continue to include him in their lives--not just for one or two months during grieving, but hopefully in an ongoing sense. I ask that you consider cooking him the odd meal, or perhaps making him something he can freeze, particularly in the good weather, (spring/summer/autumn) a time when there is much to be done in the garden. Once again, I am NOT suggesting that you all descend on him over the next few months only to "disappear into the sunset" afterwards. I am hoping that you will offer him ongoing support.
I also hope that this love and support shall CONTINUE, should he form a new relationship down the track.
I have no issue whatsoever with Ross entering into a new relationship—indeed, anyone else would be most fortunate to have such a loving partner in their lives. Should this happen, I only hope that family and friends don't just think..."oh well, he's right now....he's met someone else....let's move on...doesn't need us any more"....
Thank you everyone for your support of both myself and Ross.
Thank you my darling Ross for your devotion and care over the years.
I shall love you forever
Ross's thank you
Between the diagnosis of MND and his death my beloved David lived 4 years and 4 months almost to the day. For the first while David soldiered on on his own but as his body degenerated I increasingly moved in as his support until in the end his dependency on me was 24/7. But today I am not going to speak about David or our relationship, I will post that on the blog.
David could not have survived for as long as he did without all the help that was showered on us by the community…YOU, everyone of you! Of course there were the many individuals who gave support at the personal level and I have thanked most of these people already and I will thank them again.
Today I want to thank all people who don’t even know about the plight David and I have just faced; the people I am referring to are those who pay up to make our society run the way it runs..the Australian tax payer…. which includes everyone. The taxes Australians pay everyday…be it GST, Income tax or whatever, paid for all the services we received from the myriad of professional people in the last 4 years. It is the taxes we all pay that make for a civilized society…a society where we look after one another….
And that is the quality that really defines us as humans….. We look after one another, and when we fail to do that we lose a defining virtue.
May each one of you never give up on helping those in need. May you go from this place and continue the good work.
Thank you.
Ross
